It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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