shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
