FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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