Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
