So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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