The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
