I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
