I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
