if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
