i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
