Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
