The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
