after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
