I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I still have a little drunk in my system
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
