piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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