You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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