when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
