I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
