i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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