She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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