I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize