i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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