well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
