Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You made out with two different species that night
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
