He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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