it hurts more in the daytime
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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