absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
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