It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
