it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
