remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
