i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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