is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
