Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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