you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
