Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
