how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
