false alarm. still invincible.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
