Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
high people should be assigned attendants
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
