Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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