i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
