were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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