Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
