Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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