I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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