They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
