Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
