hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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