Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
