okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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