i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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