As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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