Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize