I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
