You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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