I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
