If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
