Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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