if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
