And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
