He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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