i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
