At least make sure they are 18
Why
I hate all girls vehemently.
are you so shy because you have an std?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
