I heard we made out
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I can't turn off my feet"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
